Learning to love yourself through the hurting, healing, and growing
The Bible commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Question: Do you love yourself? How can we show love to our neighbors (family, friends, community, strangers, etc.) if we don’t offer the same respect and love to ourselves?
Over the years, Tess Hayes, author of May You Shine: Love Letters to the Hurting, Healing, and Growing Heart, has overcome heartbreak, growing pains, and other difficult moments life has thrown her way. Through God, she has found peace and has learned to love herself. Be comforted and inspired as we chat about how to start on the journey of loving yourself and the amazing woman you were always meant to be.
Meet Tess
Tess Hayes is the author of May You Shine: Love Letters to the Hurting, Healing, and Growing Heart, a book meant to bring comfort and inspiration to people of all ages and stages in life. Writing is her way of merging her passion and talent with serving others, which she believes to be a magical intersection of possibilities. She strives to be a catalyst for connection, love, and compassion. Tess currently lives in Minneapolis, MN, where she was born and raised and finds joy in spending time with her friends and family, soaking up nature, adventuring, creating, and staying active.
Getting Past the Past
For some, the past is a hard pill to swallow. Actions, words, and missed opportunities are all too painful to revisit. For Tess, drinking was at the forefront of her pain and only accentuated her experience of an emotionally abusive relationship. Tess decided to rely on God for her strength and step away from the alcohol that so consumed her – it was then when she started on her journey to loving herself. “God knows everything on your heart, and you don’t have to explain anything to Him, and on top of that, He is so quick to forgiveness, He’s so quick to grace, quick to compassion. And so for me, I was able to just go to God with this messy, seemingly, completely screw-up life of mine and just say, ‘God, I need you,’ and he came to my rescue then, and he continues to come to my rescue every single day.”
You are Qualified
Even when you start to learn to love yourself, the difficulties don’t completely stop – it’s life, after all. In those moments, you need to remember the hardships in your life do not disqualify you from conquering your life. When you are in pain or intense, stressful moments thinking, “I’m not going to be able to do this,” or “God, you’ve put this calling on my life, I know you have more for me, but it’s just too much,” you are still qualified. Sit in the moment, pause and then move on, knowing that God will guide you through. As Tess put it, “It doesn’t mean you’re sidelined, and you have no hope for moving on. It’s just part of your story – keep going.” Ultimately, you have to remember to be gentle with yourself because He is so gentle with you.
Sharing Your Story
Whether you believe it or not, you have a powerful story to share; A story of God’s great love for you. As beautifully stated in one of Tess’s love letters, “Do not let the world rob you of your unique message. Do not silence your voice because your fear stands taller and speaks louder than your convictions within. Your words were never meant to connect with everyone, but they were meant to connect with someone.” It was based on that idea that Tess wrote May You Shine: Love Letters to the Hurting, Healing, and Growing Heart, “A lot of times we think our story isn’t big enough or interesting enough, or we didn’t have a momentous life event that qualifies as our story we’re sharing. Everything you’re doing makes your life special, and so it’s when we learn how to be vulnerable and share that unique story with others we can help people feel less alone and more seen. Even if you don’t have some giant platform or whatever it might be, God’s calling us to step forth and share.”
More from this episode
Ready to fall madly in love with yourself? You were made to thrive and shine. Tess would love nothing more than for you to start your journey of finding your strength and shining brightly. You can find the 59 beautiful, heartfelt love letters in May You Shine: Love Letters to the Hurting, Healing, and Growing Heart on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
For more information about the book and Tess, you can visit her website or connect with her via Instagram and Facebook.
Looking to build a community of Christian women? Head over to Faith & Gather for connection and more stories to become faith-inspired.